"Two Thousand Acres of Sky" (BBC1 Fri, 8.30) I'd love to sit and watch this, and get really into it, but this little voice in my head keeps saying "It's Dennis Pennis", and then I lose all concentration. Shame really.

"Wife Swap" (Ch4, Tues 9pm) And I thought last week's episode was bad. Professional Gambler? Doesn't that just mean "Lay-about with a serious attitude problem?" Seems to be. It's not the fact that people like this exist, it's more that they're so proud of being the way they are that they'll fault themselves on national tv. I'm scared to watch next week's episode now.

I'll hold my hands up and admit it. I was a bit mean to the last series of "Ant and Dec's Saturday Night Takeaway" (ITV, Sat 7.10) so I figured I should give it a second chance. It's predictable, formulaic, popcorn TV.
Following in a great tradition - Noel's House Party, Don't Forget Your Toothbrush & the like. You know exactly what you're going to get, good clean family fun and a bit of ritual audience participation. If it ain't broke, don't fix it, I guess. The only difference between Ant & Dec and Noel Edmonds or Chris Evans is that I don't feel the need to put my foot through the screen. So I suppose on a re-assessment this gets a passing score. Nostalgia reasons.

"LIve Floor Show" (BBC2, Sat 10.35) Rightly so. Something that's been sadly missing from British TV for a good few years, a comedy cabaret show. RIP Viva Cabaret, you have been forgiven for launching Lee Evans on the masses. So now we have Live Floor Show. Fantastic! Pants Wettingly Funny! Worth rearranging your weekend plans for, honest. Go out later, come home earlier, but don't miss this. For love, money, or chocolate coated Craig Doyles, don't miss it. Truly fabulous. And the musical interludes? Perfect timing to pop to the bathroom! (It's true, I'd use the ad breaks if
it weren't on the BBC!)

Finally, quiz answer of the week... Dennis Taylor.

Lorraine

picture from BBC Scotland live floor show.

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