UK TV review 67 by Lorraine Fencer for Scribe Weekly

"You The Judge" (BBC1, Weds 8.00) Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. Do we really need the BBC to get all interactive on us just to demonstrate how bigoted the British public can be? Or more accurately, the specific section of the British public who take part in these kind of phone polls? I'm not sure what this was trying to prove, but I have a feeling it failed. Badly.

"Panorama" (BBC1, Weds 9.00) was a bit more worrying, showing how easy it is for someone determined to stay in the UK to disappear between the (rather large) cracks in the asylum system. I sort of think the two programmes go some way towards explaining each other, the public's attitudes fed by the apparent ease of duping the system, and the necessity of duping the system fuelled by the attitudes of the public & decision makers. Seems like a vicious circle, and not one I'd like to have to work out how to break.

It's back. Apparently. "Fame Academy" (BBC1, various) (or should that be Lame Academy?) returns for a 2nd proper series. That's if the health & safety or planning departments don't get shot of it for us first. Asbestos in the cellar, insufficient planning permission, not a great start. Public voting again. Don't you hate these kind of weeks? Why aren't I surprised that the two attractive girls wearing almost nothing (one of which is Jensen Button's girlfriend) were voted in over the infinitely more talented girl who happened to be a few dress sizes larger? Oh, and scandal already beyond Jensen's bird. Four of the contestants already have record contracts. Hmmm, not a fix at all is it? (And I've already heard rumours about confirmed places in PopStars, which is all meant to be public voting, but I'll leave it at that)

"Breaking the Magician's Code" (ITV, Sun 2.15) OK it's a repeat, about the 5th time round if I remember right. OK it's a cheap Sunday afternoon filler, but I'm a sucker for this. I love watching magic shows to work out how the tricks are done, though it doesn't take much more brain power than your average Big Brother contestant to figure most of them out (I'm still working on walking through the Great Wall of China). So it makes me all warm & fuzzy inside when someone else does the thinking for me.

"Nobody Likes a Smartass" (BBC2, weekdays, 6pm) Nobody likes Jo Brand much
either. The deadpan gets dull after about twenty seconds. Lighten up a bit woman! And Michael Winner as a contestant, sorry, but that's killed the show for me completely.

"BB4" (Ch4, not any more) Ah well, it's all over, and a virgin with a confused accent has won the big prize. He'll be presenting the Heaven and Earth show with that bloke off Ready Steady Cook within 8 months. And we'll have forgotten most of the rest of them, with the possible exception of Jon, but I'm hoping even he will be a five minute wonder before disappearing back up his own backside.

Now, if you go back and look at my predictions for the year, at least I got
the Big Brother one right, eh?

Finally, quiz answer of the week - Rum

Lorraine

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